What Happens in the Future??

I recently got a call from my Long Term Disability Case Worker - it was probably one of the most devastating calls I've ever gotten - the call that my Grandmother had died was the worst. They were calling to let me know it was time for me to start the Social Security Disability paper work and to inform me another company would be calling to start the process. She informed me I really had no option because I needed to be compliant in the process or lose my disability benefits and it might help me keep my Cobra health benefits for an extra 11 months. WOW - I didn't know what to say or ask I was in shock - I said OK. She hung up and I started to cry and shake - I always saw myself going back to work - the reality of it all hit me for the first time. My life as I knew it was really over at 51 years old I had to admit I was/am disabled. Healthy people have no idea what is like to lose your independence - in my case I am unable to sit, stand or lay flat for more than 30 - 45 min without my joints stiffening - it takes hours for me to move easily after sleeping,  I am unable to drive r/t an inability to keep pressure on the brake, I have trouble concentrating and lose my thoughts and words often. You have read about the fatigue all of these things limit me but to actually admit I am disabled WHOA! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disability .  I have been a survivor all my life and I don't plan to stop now! I am DESPERATELY trying to reinvent myself - through blogging, reading, beading and social networking. So here I sit wiping away another set of tears and getting ready to log onto the social network. To anyone out there in a life changing situation - YOU CAN and WILL SUCCEED - I BELIEVE in YOU!!